Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
For Mike
My Top 10 tricks and such I have learned working with kids
1) Always be positive
This includes your attitude, but also your speech and your directions. Rather than say, “Stop running.” Ask them to walk. Rather than tell them to “Turn around, stop talking, and finish your homework.” Tell them they need to keep working on the task at hand.
2) Be consistent.
Never promise: I once told a sixth grade class that if they were the most respectful period I would leave a bag of Jolly Ranchers for their teacher, and let her knows who was the best period. They weren’t the best period, I don’t them that, and still years later they were claiming to be owed candy.
Never threaten: Don’t make up punishments the kids know you won’t follow up on (If you don’t… I am going to hang you by your toes), don’t give punishments you don’t want to follow up on (Knock it if off or you are going to spend time with me afterwards; they know you don’t want to stay late, and will test you on that), don’t give punishments you don’t think are fair (I never took recess from a kid (unless specifically asked to by the regular classroom teacher.)
Bottom-line follow through
3) Give them choices
Kids love choices, if you let them choose (even if it is something simple like playing on the swings or on the basketball court, they will respond). There is also what I like to call the ridiculous choice (You can hand me the note, or you can hand it to the principal (however see number 2).
4) Broken Record.
Tell them what you want to see happen when they start to argue, repeat exactly what you just said. After three or four times they will either give up or start an argument. At this point walk away and give them the choice to follow directions or not.
5) Justice is important, but Roe, Sham Boe (maybe misspelled, it was Rock, Paper, Scissors in my day) is almost as good.
If kids treat each other unfairly (and they will), and you don’t know who is the right (eg someone cut in line) have then play roe, sham, boe to see who gets the better spot.
6) Life is not fair.
If you have more kids than you need helpers for a certain task, and a child says, that is not fair, simply tell them they are right. That you need only x number of helpers and that everyone won’t get a turn, and that it is not fair.
7) Establish your boundaries.
Physical boundaries are important, never touch a kid in a way you don’t want to be touched (e.g. messing up hair, being picked up off the ground, tickled). If they can’t do it to you, you can’t do it them. (See also #2).
8) Rule of threes
Generally speaking kids can’t follow more than three direction at a time, so keep your rules, directions, expectations, and explanations’ short and sweet. Limiting them to three is a good rule of thumb.
9) You are human, but you are not
Patience, grace, repeating yourself, and picking up after them, will be a part of your daily routine. Disobedience, disrespect, not listening, not remembering the first (or second) time will all be a part of their daily routine. Be ready that it will happen and be okay with it. Also realize it is NOT a reflection of you or your skills if a kid isn’t perfectly obedient or respectful.
10) You are human
This isn’t a universal, and may vary by situation, but don’t be afraid to apologize to a kid.
If you say the wrong thing or say it in the wrong way, don’t be afraid to let the kid know that you made a mistake (a valuable lesson in that we all make mistakes), that you care about them (a super valuable lesson), and then model correct language and behavior (use “I language,” don’t tell the child what you did was wrong (even if it was, but HOW you approached it-ie hurt their feelings), and don’t go into your personal life (I may care that your dog died and you were already in a bad mood when we got in a fight, but the kids don’t and it impacts number 9)
Bonus:
No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
Bonus: #2
What kids (or anyone) need is not always what they want. (see #1,2,5,6)
1) Always be positive
This includes your attitude, but also your speech and your directions. Rather than say, “Stop running.” Ask them to walk. Rather than tell them to “Turn around, stop talking, and finish your homework.” Tell them they need to keep working on the task at hand.
2) Be consistent.
Never promise: I once told a sixth grade class that if they were the most respectful period I would leave a bag of Jolly Ranchers for their teacher, and let her knows who was the best period. They weren’t the best period, I don’t them that, and still years later they were claiming to be owed candy.
Never threaten: Don’t make up punishments the kids know you won’t follow up on (If you don’t… I am going to hang you by your toes), don’t give punishments you don’t want to follow up on (Knock it if off or you are going to spend time with me afterwards; they know you don’t want to stay late, and will test you on that), don’t give punishments you don’t think are fair (I never took recess from a kid (unless specifically asked to by the regular classroom teacher.)
Bottom-line follow through
3) Give them choices
Kids love choices, if you let them choose (even if it is something simple like playing on the swings or on the basketball court, they will respond). There is also what I like to call the ridiculous choice (You can hand me the note, or you can hand it to the principal (however see number 2).
4) Broken Record.
Tell them what you want to see happen when they start to argue, repeat exactly what you just said. After three or four times they will either give up or start an argument. At this point walk away and give them the choice to follow directions or not.
5) Justice is important, but Roe, Sham Boe (maybe misspelled, it was Rock, Paper, Scissors in my day) is almost as good.
If kids treat each other unfairly (and they will), and you don’t know who is the right (eg someone cut in line) have then play roe, sham, boe to see who gets the better spot.
6) Life is not fair.
If you have more kids than you need helpers for a certain task, and a child says, that is not fair, simply tell them they are right. That you need only x number of helpers and that everyone won’t get a turn, and that it is not fair.
7) Establish your boundaries.
Physical boundaries are important, never touch a kid in a way you don’t want to be touched (e.g. messing up hair, being picked up off the ground, tickled). If they can’t do it to you, you can’t do it them. (See also #2).
8) Rule of threes
Generally speaking kids can’t follow more than three direction at a time, so keep your rules, directions, expectations, and explanations’ short and sweet. Limiting them to three is a good rule of thumb.
9) You are human, but you are not
Patience, grace, repeating yourself, and picking up after them, will be a part of your daily routine. Disobedience, disrespect, not listening, not remembering the first (or second) time will all be a part of their daily routine. Be ready that it will happen and be okay with it. Also realize it is NOT a reflection of you or your skills if a kid isn’t perfectly obedient or respectful.
10) You are human
This isn’t a universal, and may vary by situation, but don’t be afraid to apologize to a kid.
If you say the wrong thing or say it in the wrong way, don’t be afraid to let the kid know that you made a mistake (a valuable lesson in that we all make mistakes), that you care about them (a super valuable lesson), and then model correct language and behavior (use “I language,” don’t tell the child what you did was wrong (even if it was, but HOW you approached it-ie hurt their feelings), and don’t go into your personal life (I may care that your dog died and you were already in a bad mood when we got in a fight, but the kids don’t and it impacts number 9)
Bonus:
No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
Bonus: #2
What kids (or anyone) need is not always what they want. (see #1,2,5,6)
What is sacred?
The Saturday before VBS there were several of us gathered at the church to hang cardboard and construction paper around the sanctuary in such a way as to make it look like a jungle. While we were working one of the high school girls plugged in her iPod to give us a little tuneage. Mostly Christian stuff. The shuffle function then chose a secular song. It isn't important which one.
Halfway through the song, a very upset person stormed into our church and told us that such music (i.e. secular) was not appropriate for "this house of God." A reasonable calm defense was given, but he wasn't having any of it. In order not to offended our brother in Christ we turned the music off. (Then talked about the event amongst ourselves for the rest of the week).
We could talk all day about secular music, the House of the Lord, meat sacrificed to idols, becoming all things to all men, and the 40 thousand other topics that this encounter raises. But the question that stuck with me is, "What is sacred?".
The easy definition of sacred vs. secular is to define secular first. Secular is what belongs to the world, Sacred is everything else. But is it that easy? If there is a chair sitting in a church building, does it belong to the Lord? The Church is the House of the Lord. If I remove the chair and place it in a restaurant, or even (gasp) a bar, does the chair lose its sacredness? When did it become sacred the first time around? When it was purchased by the planning committee, and therefore became property of the Lord (via the church). Or does the object become sacred once it crosses the threshold of the church?
And if that is the case, if the church is holy ground, wouldn't the song we were playing become sacred because of its surroundings?
Here is the problem, the building isn't sacred. The building isn't holy ground. What made the tabernacle holy? What made the temple holy? It was the presence of the Lord. Where is the Lord's presence today? It is in the lives of His followers (or it should be, but that is another topic for another time, maybe when God calls me to overseas missions). The church (the structure) is NOT HOLY. The Church (the men and women who follow Christ) is holy. We are going to skip the whole, "Well then can we do whatever we want and make it holy?" tangent (short answer= no).
Ironically, the message of VBS this year was that we (the Church) are the living stones that make up the temple of the Lord. It is us working together through the Spirit that make up the Church. And we as people certainly are NOT holy. My holiness is that of Christ's.
That is to say that through the perfect live of Christ that is now mine through the work on the cross and the presence of the Holy Spirit within me, I become holy. Close to four years ago, God began to impress on me the idea of Relationship. How vital relationship is to what we do as a Church. This week I began to see how important Redemption is.
For my inclusion into the Royal Priesthood, my standing as a temple of the Lord, my privilege to be a living stone making up the Church of Jesus, all of it happened through Redemption. If secular is what belongs to the world, then sacred is what belongs to the Lord. I belong to the Lord, the church building belongs to Lord (because it, not unlike me, has the function of serving the Lord), music, food, games, fun, miles of construction paper fashioned to look like a jungle are all sacred because they are taken from the mundane and repurposed to be used to bring God glory.
For me it was the reminder that ministry focuses on Relationships, but cannot neglect Redemption. We must purposely but ourselves in contact with the secular. That is we must go and find those who do not yet belong to God and bring them to Him. That can be done by going out to the jungles or by decorating your church to look like one.
--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away,
--Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau
Halfway through the song, a very upset person stormed into our church and told us that such music (i.e. secular) was not appropriate for "this house of God." A reasonable calm defense was given, but he wasn't having any of it. In order not to offended our brother in Christ we turned the music off. (Then talked about the event amongst ourselves for the rest of the week).
We could talk all day about secular music, the House of the Lord, meat sacrificed to idols, becoming all things to all men, and the 40 thousand other topics that this encounter raises. But the question that stuck with me is, "What is sacred?".
The easy definition of sacred vs. secular is to define secular first. Secular is what belongs to the world, Sacred is everything else. But is it that easy? If there is a chair sitting in a church building, does it belong to the Lord? The Church is the House of the Lord. If I remove the chair and place it in a restaurant, or even (gasp) a bar, does the chair lose its sacredness? When did it become sacred the first time around? When it was purchased by the planning committee, and therefore became property of the Lord (via the church). Or does the object become sacred once it crosses the threshold of the church?
And if that is the case, if the church is holy ground, wouldn't the song we were playing become sacred because of its surroundings?
Here is the problem, the building isn't sacred. The building isn't holy ground. What made the tabernacle holy? What made the temple holy? It was the presence of the Lord. Where is the Lord's presence today? It is in the lives of His followers (or it should be, but that is another topic for another time, maybe when God calls me to overseas missions). The church (the structure) is NOT HOLY. The Church (the men and women who follow Christ) is holy. We are going to skip the whole, "Well then can we do whatever we want and make it holy?" tangent (short answer= no).
Ironically, the message of VBS this year was that we (the Church) are the living stones that make up the temple of the Lord. It is us working together through the Spirit that make up the Church. And we as people certainly are NOT holy. My holiness is that of Christ's.
That is to say that through the perfect live of Christ that is now mine through the work on the cross and the presence of the Holy Spirit within me, I become holy. Close to four years ago, God began to impress on me the idea of Relationship. How vital relationship is to what we do as a Church. This week I began to see how important Redemption is.
For my inclusion into the Royal Priesthood, my standing as a temple of the Lord, my privilege to be a living stone making up the Church of Jesus, all of it happened through Redemption. If secular is what belongs to the world, then sacred is what belongs to the Lord. I belong to the Lord, the church building belongs to Lord (because it, not unlike me, has the function of serving the Lord), music, food, games, fun, miles of construction paper fashioned to look like a jungle are all sacred because they are taken from the mundane and repurposed to be used to bring God glory.
For me it was the reminder that ministry focuses on Relationships, but cannot neglect Redemption. We must purposely but ourselves in contact with the secular. That is we must go and find those who do not yet belong to God and bring them to Him. That can be done by going out to the jungles or by decorating your church to look like one.
--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away,
--Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau
some random thoughts.
So I have a few thoughts bouncing around my head. None completely formed, and none really worthy of a blog post all their own. Some are random, some are personal. Seven months ago I promised to blog more. For better or worse, here we go:
What the what?
I have seen two separate occasions I have seen groups of grown men (I am guessing mid 20s) out in public wearing tank top undershirts along with a fedora. When the heck did this become acceptable fashion? Has the t-shirt been promoted to semi formal wear, or the fedora been bumped down to the I don't care how I look side of the aisle? Either way I do not approve.
The I-5 is not nearly as boring as I remembered it to be.
This is due in part to radio stations that play a random mix of tunes (there is something about lack of belong/lack of family/lack of commitment/not defining one’s self narrowly that makes these radio stations popular, but I don't have a fully formed thesis, and am most likely over thinking it.) and some classical music along with KLOVE that made the trip entertaining. Also my new Garmin GPS that lets me know how long I have been on the road in miles and time, and counts down to my destination. Plus, it sent me through Gilroy on the way home, that I am sure added some time (despite my per-programmed preferences), but also added some new sights and smells that broke up the monotony that is the 5.
How am I to do my job?
As you faithful readers (both of you) know, I am working towards becoming a Children's Pastor. I have been involved in a Children's Ministry here in town that has a very specific educational and theological theory that works quite well for them. Last week I was able to visit my home church and hang out at their VBS. Their educational and theological theory is quite different, and works quite well I was a little perplexed, as I thought I had found the formula for effective ministry. This week reminded me that there is no formula. We bring our best to God and he takes our efforts, our sacrifice, or piddly little sack lunch, and uses it to feed the masses. It is He who works; we just get a front row seat.
Son Quest Rainforest
As mentioned above, I was able to visit home and "help" out at VBS with Grace last week. Some random thoughts:
No I won't go into it just now.
Next year is already in the planning stages.
Pictures up soon (hopefully.)
--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away,
--Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau
What the what?
I have seen two separate occasions I have seen groups of grown men (I am guessing mid 20s) out in public wearing tank top undershirts along with a fedora. When the heck did this become acceptable fashion? Has the t-shirt been promoted to semi formal wear, or the fedora been bumped down to the I don't care how I look side of the aisle? Either way I do not approve.
The I-5 is not nearly as boring as I remembered it to be.
This is due in part to radio stations that play a random mix of tunes (there is something about lack of belong/lack of family/lack of commitment/not defining one’s self narrowly that makes these radio stations popular, but I don't have a fully formed thesis, and am most likely over thinking it.) and some classical music along with KLOVE that made the trip entertaining. Also my new Garmin GPS that lets me know how long I have been on the road in miles and time, and counts down to my destination. Plus, it sent me through Gilroy on the way home, that I am sure added some time (despite my per-programmed preferences), but also added some new sights and smells that broke up the monotony that is the 5.
How am I to do my job?
As you faithful readers (both of you) know, I am working towards becoming a Children's Pastor. I have been involved in a Children's Ministry here in town that has a very specific educational and theological theory that works quite well for them. Last week I was able to visit my home church and hang out at their VBS. Their educational and theological theory is quite different, and works quite well I was a little perplexed, as I thought I had found the formula for effective ministry. This week reminded me that there is no formula. We bring our best to God and he takes our efforts, our sacrifice, or piddly little sack lunch, and uses it to feed the masses. It is He who works; we just get a front row seat.
Son Quest Rainforest
As mentioned above, I was able to visit home and "help" out at VBS with Grace last week. Some random thoughts:
- It is so much fun not being in charge of anything.
- No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
- Michael did a fantastic job at rec, and he did much more simply than I ever did.
- Bounce Houses with an attached water slide may be the best thing ever.
- Piranhas are cool, and there teachers are even cooler.
- Watching high school students who came up in the church turn around and give back to VBS is one the most rewarding things I have been a part of.
- There are seasons of rest and seasons of growth. I think I am coming out of a little bit of both, but am not sure exactly where it is I am going.
- This year’s set design was literally five years in the making.
- Good food is always made better when shared with good friends.
- What we do for kids stays with them.
- Second chances are the most important thing you can give.
No I won't go into it just now.
Next year is already in the planning stages.
Pictures up soon (hopefully.)
--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away,
--Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau
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