Day 690

I haven't updated this blog since August.
A few things have happened since then. Both globally and personally.

Where I would like to start is with is some highlights from my second year of ministry. When I began this entry, I was expecting to write about the two or three fundamentally grandiose events that radically changed the direction of my ministry.

But looking back, they weren't there. I assumed they would be. My heart is so full of joy and pride that there must be some grand events that created these feelings. Rather, I noticed countless small events. Little things like trips to serve and trips to play. Participating in you all's lives through stage plays,  band performances, baseball games, and of course movies at Celebration Pointe. I found the peace of God on lazy rivers and inflatable water slides. I had the privilege of standing with teachers and scout masters. I had the privilege of sitting in pews and waiting rooms. I got to speak from the pulpit and from the steps of our altar. I got to listen. Oh, and I got to meet Popeye.

In June, I got to experience Georgia. And more importantly I got to experience God moving through middle school students through service and bonding with each other. Through youth soccer campuses and community gardens as well as games of Sardines and Moose Moose (Hot Dog).

In October, we were asked to help out with the Fall Fun on Metcalfe Street event by being a part of the Trunk or Treat area. Turns out we were three of the four vehicles there. It was great to have been asked to partner with this amazing school.

October was also when I got to serve with these weirdos.

In December, I got to hand these off to brighten the holidays for a few families here in Gainesville.

January was when I met Popeye.

In February, we celebrated with Zeke, remembered Reggie and Malia. As a wise man once said, "Ice Cream Breakfast forever:"

In March there was Pancake Dinners, Ash Wednesday, and Scout's Blue and Gold Banquet.
Then things changed just a little. More on that next time.

--Serving God alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau

The little things: Texas style

They say that in Texas everything is bigger.

Driving the highway each morning to work, I can certainly attest that the flags flying outside nearly every business and office building are larger than what I have experienced elsewhere (With the exception of the flag outside Leisure World in Seal Bach). The city is without a doubt more spread out than Chicago, and the sky feels bigger here. (Of course it depends on where the sky starts.) And I haven't tried the local food, but just from reading the labels in the supermarket, I am pretty sure the cuisine runs hotter here

However, I have found that in Texas like elsewhere, it's not the only the monumental events that leave an impact but the mundane ones as well.

The other night I sat on the couch with my brother, sister-in-law, and brand new niece and thought, "I scarce can take it in." Some of you may recognize that phrase from the old Christian hymn "How Great Thou Art". The song speaks of the power and wonder of Creation and the sacrifice of Christ. In response to these things the author wrote that line.

Yet my response wasn't to some large wonderful earth shattering, mind blowing event. It was to the simple fact that I sat indoors, with a full belly, next my family.

While I am grateful for the space that my brother and his family have provided, it is not the space but the presence of family that I find rest in.

While I am grateful for the meals my sister-in-law makes, it is not the nourishment but the gathering together to enjoy each other that reminds me of my worth.

While I enjoy the movies we watch each evening (some more than others), it is not the flickering images upon the television screen that bring peace, but the simple reminder that yet another day has past with shelter, food, and acceptance as a part of it.

--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
 --Jesse Letourneau

Little Things part 5 (Sunday June 24)

When I was little and I was by myself, I used to sing a song to the Lord.  It was a simple act of worship arising from a simple song.  The song was I Love You Lord (and I Lift my voice); it is a repetitive song and it allowed me to meditate and pray while I sang.

The summer before I left home for college I sat on the swings of my elementary school playground, singing that song and praying.  It was a time to say good bye to my past, say goodbye to my childhood.  It was a time to let go of the past's familiarity and trust God's guidance for the future.

I sang this song a few other times since then.  But its been years since it has come to my head.

This morning I gave my first sermon.  There was some nervous energy running through me as I sat in the CM Office.  Sunday School classes were cared for, and still and hour before the service started, so I sat down and and began to pray.  As I did one song came to mind: I Love You Lord.  Even when I'm alone I don't sing aloud.  This is the one song I sing aloud; loud enough to be heard.   As I began to trust God for my role in the service, I continued to sing.

As the service started I sat in the pew, and listen to announcements and responsive readings, and sang the songs.  Then the worship team began to sing, I love you, Lord.


My sermon was about ministry (taken from Matthew 14:13-21)  It was about giving our best and watching God take what we have and make it so much better.

Here is the audio of the sermon
 
--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
 --Jesse Letourneau

The little things

So if you believe in coincidence then you will chalk up my story to nothing more than that.

If you know my God, then you will no doubt see his fingerprints on this story.

Change, Journey, Destination, Risk, Growth, Manhood, Servanthood, even Puzzles. These words have defined my road the last two years here at Alliance. Some of them stretching even farther back than that. This semester has been wrapped up in the word Identity. I have much more to write on that when the time comes.

The very condensed back story to this entry is that my identity has been shaken and stripped. Who I thought God was making me to be I no longer trusted in. I felt alone and I felt helpless. I had no control. And instead of giving control back to God (or rather admitting He had it all along) I tried to find it in other ways and by other means.

All the while my prayer was that I could give God control. But I knew I didn't really want to. Not just yet. I wanted to wallow just a little longer.

One thing I thought I knew was God’s calling for me to attend North Park Seminary in Chicago. There is another story for another day, but the short version is God asked me to become a Children's Pastor (see previous entries) and showed me my next turn was to attend North Park in Chicago.

I was happy to apply to the school, apply for the scholarships, and then wait. However, when my life turned upside down, when what I was holding onto for my identity was radically shaken, I stopped trusting and became anxious. I checked my mailbox every day (sometimes multiple times a day, as if the mailman was going to circle back and deliver a letter he had placed on the dashboard of his little white truck) for news from North Park. I needed assurance that I still knew where God was taking me. Even if only in the physical sense. I knew what I truly needed was to meet with God. To focus not on my needs but on His Word.

Here is something that a prospective seminary student maybe shouldn't admit. I have lost my Bible.

I work at a Christian camp and am literally surrounded by Bibles. But like a little whinny baby, I wanted MY Bible. Only MY Bible could do. I didn't really believe this lie, I just wanted to put off hearing from God. I was afraid of what He would say. I was afraid He would ask me to trust Him even if seminary rejected me and I had no plans for the fall.

This weekend I was sick. Legitimately sick. Symptoms, fever, aches, the whole nine yards. But I used this as an excuse to just wallow in self doubt and self pity and second guessing. I used the excuse that I was tired and wouldn't get anything out of reading the Bible.

This morning I had the day off, and felt much better. I got a couple of chores done, and even went outside. But still I felt bad, and wanted to feel that way. I knew how to change my attitude, I simply chose not to.

After dinner this evening I checked my mail (for like the third time today). And there wasn't an letter that the postman had forgotten. Instead there was a Bible bought at a second hand store. A Bible bought for me by a friend knowing I had lost mine.

So, having a Bible of my own, I sat down and read. Nothing fancy. Nothing life changing or new. Just a Psalm and the first few chapters of Proverbs. Then there was a Psalm I wanted to read, but couldn't remember exactly where it was, so I went to the computer to look it up.

Of course I had to check my email first. In my inbox was a note from North Park Seminary, saying that the scholarship meeting has been moved back, and that decisions are coming soon. Knowing that they have my paperwork. Knowing that there will be an answer has taken so much weight off my shoulders. I can put that piece of the puzzle back in God's hand.

Like I said, it seems so much like a simple coincidence. But I know the timing of everything was in His hands, and my simple act of yielding was answered by a simple act of assurance that the plan is still in motion, still trust worthy, still the one I am to be on right now.

--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away

--Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau

It's the little things

Sunday morning on my drive into town to church, I was playing a CD that had been given to me 8 years ago. It was mix of worship songs that were popular at the time. They may be a little dated now, but they remind me of a time and a place. Specifically, they remind me of all the people I worshiped with and severed beside at Grace Community of Seal Beach.

The song "You are My King." came, and I found myself singing along. The opening lines are "I am forgiven, because You were forsaken. I am accepted. You were condemned." It wasn't uncommon for Grace to play this song as the Communion elements were being past down the rows. The song reminded me of the sweetness of fellowship and of the friends left at home.

I arrived at Redwood Covenant and spent the first service helping in Redwood Kids. The second service found me in "Big People Church." Communion was going to be served later in the service. And as all good church kids know, Communion is served the first Sunday of the month. So it wasn't something I was expecting.

As the Communion elements were passed the worship team began to play "You are My King."

As the title states, "it is the small things." God was reminding me that RCC is now my home. And it is. It isn't as deeply rooted as Seal Beach. Actually, as I type this, I realize it is. It doesn't have the same number of memories as Seal Beach, but I have only been here a quarter of the time I was at Grace. But the acceptance, the ministry, the feeling of home they are as deep, maybe deeper since they took root so quickly.

--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau

Oh yeah, that's why.

This last week we had over 300 kids from six different schools. And this weekend we have 600 plus guest. It has been crazy and stressful around these parts to say the least.

Below is an email sent out from our secretary. The teachers mentioned were not a part of the school I worked with this week. But it was a timely reminder of why I do what I do.

God is definitivlty at work here at camp.

I know we are all running around preparing ourselves for this doozy of a weekend, but I had to share an experience with you all regarding one of the schools that just left our campsite.

I have been working with this school for the past three months to even get them to come to camp. There were two teachers that were signed up to come and one teacher had almost her whole class signed up while the other teacher only had 5 students. One teacher was coordinating and getting all excited about coming to camp while the other was calling try to cancel. These two teacher refused to talk to each other and the described themselves as oil and water. It was an interesting few weeks leading up to this Tuesday when they arrived. I had no idea what to expect from what I dubbed the “feuding” teachers and I was in for a surprise. The first day one teacher made her class stay on the bus because she didn’t to get wet, while the other teacher had her class out splashing in the water and getting sandy while it poured at the beach. As the week wore on there was a marked change in the attitude of the two teachers. The quiet one who wanted to cancel was Smiling and there were occasions that the two teacher were sitting together talking. This morning they stopped me and we had a lengthy talk about their week. The quiet teacher was all grins and couldn’t stop talking about how much fun this place has been and how she has found a peace here. (Hum….coincidence? I don’t think so!)

These students from this school had a rough time getting here. There were a few students who didn’t think they could come because they didn’t own two pairs of shoes or pajamas. The school worked so hard to raise extra money and they were able to purchase 6 pairs of shoes, towels for every kid, pajamas for one girl who didn’t have any, ODE shirts for every kid, ponchos, and cameras for each student. A few kids mentioned that it was nice to go somewhere that they could eat as much as they wanted and that there were always seconds. The teacher wrote this on her evaluation about blessings her group received:

“Many 1^st timers to see the ocean, cross a stream, climb on rocks, see Redwoods, see wild deer, be at a campfire, zipline and tree climbing, be away from home overnight, build a sand castle, see a raccoon, play ping pong, have as much to eat and repeated trips for food, play in the rain with permission, have their very own camera, sleep in dorm style, and be trusted to behave as they know best.”

I am blessed to work in a place where we can encourage kids to be kids. This will be an experience they will never forget and it makes all the frustrations worth it! My two “feuding” teachers came here, found peace, and are ready to come back next year!

How amazing is that?

--Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau
Serving Him alongside all of you, just from a little farther away.

Cannonball Sunday

Sunday was Baptism Sunday at RCC (Redwood Covenant Church). After a really cool Children's lesson:


I went to "big people church" and was blessed beyond measure. The sermon started with a video of a child jumping into the baptismal. Hence the name of this blog and the Sermons title today.

Pastor Doug spoke on having an eagerness to get into the water. At RCC, we practice family baptism. There was a father who was baptized as a sign of his faith in Christ along with his children as a sign they where under his roof and would be raised in the faith. After the service, there was an invitation for anyone who wanted to baptized and hadn't done so to come down. No one came, the service ended, the worship team played, people chatted, and the sanctuary began to empty. Until more people came down to be baptized. Among them was the mother of the family who had been baptized earlier in the service. When asked why she wanted to be baptized, she said, "I am tired of fighting what has always been." It was amazing to see the faith of the father and the faith of the children used by God to bring another daughter of his to a public confession of her faith. To allow her to "stop fighting, and accept what has always been."

Serving Him with all of you just from further away,
Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau