The Song Goes On

I have written briefly about my struggle to find my footing in the early parts of 2016 as well as the challenges faced that summer. Today, I would like to focus in on one particular day. February 10.

Quick background: In January of 2016, I had a phone interview in Houston that led to an in person interview in Chicago, that led to the words, "You are the candidate, if you don’t accept the position we start over." What I understood that to mean was that I had been offered a job. I was flown out to Washington to see the church and meet the congregation. I attended and participated in meetings casting vision for the second service they were starting in six weeks. I left to the words, "There is a vote on Tuesday, and we will call you Wednesday."

I understood the vote to be a formality. I understood that I would soon be called to serve at that church. Over the next two and half days, I packed up and fit everything I owned into my Honda Civic.
Wednesday morning I placed the last tub into the Civic, and came back in to check my email. A member of the search committee had just sent an email that simply read, "Is now a good time to call?" I replied that it was. During that call, I was told that the vote had not gone in my favor. I no longer understood myself to be called to serve at that church.


That was February 10, 2016.

My body honestly went into shock. I didn’t know what do or say. I had clothes and toiletries set aside for the anticipated drive to Washington, so I didn’t need to get anything out of the car right away. I left everything in my car and went into my now empty room and laid on the floor.
While I didn’t feel like hope was present, I knew I wanted to act as though it was. I went to my car to retrieve a single item.





The first item I retrieved from my Honda Civic on 2-10-16


That item was a present given to me Christmas of 2014 by my (soon to be) sister-in-law. Readers of this blog will know that I have a fixation on Gonzo from the Muppet troupe. Sara (my now sister-in-law) painted me an image of Gonzo taken from the final moments of the old Muppet Show. Each week, Gonzo would appear at the end of the theme song and attempt to play the final note. He never succeeded. He was beset by a series of malfunctions, interruptions, and explosions.


That depiction of such a futile attempt may seem like a poor totem of hope. However, my painting shows Gonzo playing that elusive final note and many more. I don’t believe Sara intended any deep meaning to be infused into her work. But on that day I found in that simple gift what I needed: hope.
I needed to know that the despite the evidence to the contrary, I was worthy. I needed the assurance that God was still good. I needed to believe that I was still called to serve the Church. I didn't have any of those truths within me.

Faith is the evidence of hope. Faith can be individual. Faith can be corporate. Faith can be held.
I have been privileged to have been a part of several communities who have held my faith for me. I have been surrounded by those who knew that I had worth even when I didn't (especially when I didn't.) I have been in communities that proclaimed God's goodness over my life. I have been assured and reassured that I am called to serve the Church.

On that day, I needed a reminder of all these things. I needed a reminder of all those whose lives have touched mine. So, I went to the car and grabbed the painting.

This blog was inspired by an "On This Day" post from Facebook. Not only did I retrieve the painting from my car, but I snapped a picture of the painting, posting it in my 2016 Picture a Day album. By doing so, one year to the day, Facebook reminded me of what took place on February 10, 2016.
Now, February 10th is a date that when it appears on my Facebook feed I will remember as the day I received that phone call. And yes, I know that I can tell Facebook to no longer bring that memory to my feed, however I don't plan to do that.

Facebook reminds me that February 10 is also the day I took 5th and 6th graders on a night hike in the Bay Area. February 10 is the day when I was in Chicago and I was able to bring provisions to a friend who was sick. Facebook reminds me that I am not just that one day. My story didn't begin on that day, and it certainty didn't end there.

In 2016, I received a phone call, photographed a painting , and clung to hope that was most definitely unseen. In 2017, I had accepted a call to work at Copper Canyon Baptist, photographed that same painting now hanging in a fully furnished room, and clung to the hope that I was serving where God would have me.

We are so much more than the individual days that build our lives. We are so much more than one phone call. We are so much more than one rejection, one disappointment.

On February 10, 2016, I entitled my painting "And the Song Goes On".


--Waiting in hope alongside you, just from father away
--Jesse Letourneau

Blogs mentioned in this week:
WAVES
BONES
Gonzo in action

For the Love of Chickens

The two of you who read this blog (hi mom) know that I work at a camp and that my camp name is Gonzo.

I was dubbed Gonzo due to my love of Muppets and my bio on the camp website.

Half of what you read there is serious, the rest is just goofy. We had to fill out a short little survey to help the author of our bios. One of the questions was "Who is your hero?" I wrote down the apostle Peter and realized that I admired Gonzo for the same reason.

Now I didn't say I was like Peter or Gonzo, just that I admired them. The ability to get back up after you have been knocked down, to me is the definition of what it means to be human. However, I have learned an important lesson since beginning my work at camp. In order to get knocked down you have to be moving forward.

Now, before I get comments about how according to physics you can knock down a stationary object (hi ben). I am speaking metaphorically. In order to keep trying you have to have tried the first time. In order to learn from your mistakes you have to make mistakes. In order to heal stronger you have to have been broken or bruised.

I began once to write about my coworkers and the example they have been to me. I got side tracked and wrote about community instead. So let me say this. My coworkers seek out their limits, they push themselves, they are proud of each bruise and scrape.

Now, I am not ever going to be the guy who takes a water bottle, a tent, and a sleeping bag and heads off into the woods. I am perfectly happy with some corn dogs, mac and cheese, a comfy couch and a season or two of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. However, my time at camp has pushed me way beyond my boundries. I have gone exploring in caves and sea cave kayaking. I haven't done as much as those I went with, but that is okay. I found my limits, and had a blast doing it.

And like the kids on the zip line, pushing myself physically has allowed me to push myself in other areas as well.

Most likely more on that next time.

Serving Him alongside you, just from further away
 --Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau

More Muppets

So, I have been giving a lot (too much) thought to Gonzo and how he has appeared over the years. Like any good decades old character he has undergone several changes in appearance. The most resent I like to call his "Disney-ification."

Outside of Kermit, most of the principal players on the Muppet Show underwent some pretty radical transformations during the show's (all too short) five year run. To say then, that Disney has no right to change the characters look would be unfair. However, the direction that the Muppets have gone since Disney bought the rights to Kermit and company, as been to a more rounded, monochromatic, almost Playschool like appearance. (In point of fact, the classic Disney characters (Mickey, Donald, Goofy) have undergone a similar metamorphosis.) It is a case of marketing (kids like bright colors and soft round shapes) dictating the characters' look, over the character of the character dictation the character's look.

I know that last sentence has a lot of "character" in it, but when dealing with the Muppets it is important to remember that they are first and foremost characters. They have back stories and deep seeded fears, they have strengths and weaknesses, they function as a (highly eclectic and highly unstable) family. To turn them into the "funny one," the "mean one," the "jock," and the "outcast" is to miss the point of what made Jim Henson's crazy characters work so well and be loved for so long.

Kermit's new appearance is the most egregious change brought to the Muppets. However, to Disney's credit they have brought him back to a more classic look.

Classic Kermit (Notice his "skull" is basically a hand) with a more football shaped head

"Disney-fied Kermit' with a almost perfectly spherical head.

And here is Kermit in the most recent Muppet Production ("Letters to Santa")

Notice we are much closer to the original football shaped head.

(Side Note: The Muppets and many other properties have been trying hard to produce a seminal Christmas film in the vain of A Charlie Brown Christmas. The reason Charlie Brown and friends have become a part of American Christmas is that CBS ran the special every year for decades on end. If you want kids to grow up watching your Christmas special, stop making new ones every five years, and simply rerun your show until everyone deems it a classic)

Despite the presence of various and radical changes, Miss Piggy adamantly denies ever having plastic surgery. You be the judge.

BEFORE

AFTER

However, what Disney has done to the pig (make her head as round as possible) seems a little extreme.

Disney-ification

Sadly, one of my favorite Muppets (who makes me smile on appearance alone) has undergone (in my book) the most unfortunate transformation of all.

Old school Fozzie

Disney-ification

I really hate the look of the current furry funny man.

So on to Gonzo.

When Gonzo was first introduced to the world, he was this little weird whatever. Not overly appealing in his appearance (or his "artistic acts").

1976

As the years went by Gonzo grew in size as well as physical appeal (relatively speaking of course)

1981

During what some fans have dubbed "The storybook years", Gonzo continued to grow in size, appearance, and in prominence. In 1992's A Muppet Christmas Carol, Gonzo took center stage as the narrator of the film.

narrator of classic novels and stealer of souls

After Disney bought the Muppets, Gonzo became rounder, softer, and more monochromatic.


Once ugly and predominately purple, Gonzo has morphed into a (somewhat) appealing and mostly blue.















I would be absolutely appalled at the transformation of the little whatever who was booed off the stage when he tried to eat a tire to the tunes of Korsakovo to the alien who is front and center of the recent Disney/Muppet outings, except for one thing:

Dave Golez, the man who has had his hand up Gonzo's tucus, since the first episode of the Muppet Show. Gonzo and Golez are the only character/puppeteer combo to remain in tact since the beginning. Golez/Gonzo are the reason that any heart, any humor, and since of nostalgia are part of recent Muppet productions.

So while I am not a fan of rounded heads and simple color schemes (these ain't the telletubbies) I do love me some Gonzo.

Below is a video of Dave and Gonzo

clicky

My Idol

For Camp we have to fill out bios to go up on the website.
One of the questions is who is someone you admire?

My answer was the Apostle Peter, because no matter how many times he failed, he never failed to try. And the Great Gonzo, for the same reason.

You can never exhaust God's love, you can never drain His grace, and you can't wander beyond His mercy. No matter what it is, there is a reason to get up, dust off, and move on.

Be strong and encouraged my brothers and sisters.

--Jesse Letourneau
Serving Him along side you, just from a little farther away.