The Desk Chronicles: Part Three: Beginning Again

In September of 2018, I wrote about placing a toy car on my desk in Florida. The link below will take you to that story.

The Desk Chronicles: Part One: Roots

This week I added a paper weight to my new desk, where I now serve as the pastor of Salem UCC, Westphalia, Indiana. The paper weight was a gift from a congregant who attended Salem in years past. It marks the 125th anniversary of this congregation.  Our 175th is right around the corner. 

I have only been here seven weeks, and yet it feels like home. It is smaller and quieter than any place I have ever been.  Yet it feels like home. Before I arrived here, I only encountered lightning bugs like twice in my lifetime. Now they are out my back porch most every night. The rain comes differently here too. Some times suddenly, some times you can see the storm roll on. Sometimes it passes by all together. And that smell after the rain? It is unique in each place I have lived.  And now, only a month and a half later, the air after a rain is the scent of home. 

Though if I am honest, the smell of pine trees will always be home. But I was near pines for the first quarter century of my life. I still miss pine trees. I still miss mountains. But now, oak trees and corn fields are home. I still miss Target and Trader Joe's, and the burger place that was a short walk from work. But Westphalia is home. And not just because my stuff is here. (Though that was a whole other ordeal.)

I am home because I am here. I have found the way to be comfortable and at ease with myself no matter where I am. Some say Home is where the Heart is. Some say Home is where you Hang your Hat. I think home is where you find peace. And I have found peace in myself. But I did not do that alone.

I found peace in the friends in college who drove to Vegas for no good reason (and without enough seat belts). I found peace in the friends who made sure I got to private movie screenings. I found peace in the Bible study where we learned that God isn't shocked by your sin. I found peace in learning that being an Eagles fan, even if only for the cheesestakes is an emotional roller coaster. I found peace on zip line platforms, caves, and ski mountains with amazing people who saw in me, what I couldn't yet see. I found peace talking to Sven and Ollie. I found peace in Baby Shark (before it was a lifestyle brand). I found peace folding way too many origami flowers for an Easter service. I found peace in ordering the Fish Sandwich every Thursday for a semester. I found peace in soda, "make it fancy", and home made cookies. I found peace in gathering at the table for board games and Seders, but truly in the people gathered around said table. I found peace in the Purple Room struggling to cobble together translations from the Greek or watching The Guardians of the Galaxy bring peace through friendship. I found peace being chased by zombies on our way to ride the Viper. I found peace in being let into the lives of some truly remarkable people. I found peace meeting the real Santa Claus (he lives in Gainesville). I found peace on the steps of the chancel with a lion puppet on my hand and their eyes glued to said puppet. I found peace on the Ichetucknee River. I found peace in the insanity that was Wizarding School. I even found peace reading books online and having amazing food brought to my door.

I found peace in the eyes, in the smiles, the words, and the souls of too many to list here. Though if you are reading this, there is a very good chance you are one of them.


--Serving God alongside all of you, just from further away

--Jesse Letourneau

The Desk Chronicles: Part Two: Leaving Well

Day 366

In ministry value and worth are often considered in relationship to the size and number of buildings, money, and people involved. That is to say a successful ministry is measured in bucks, butts, and buildings.

The more you have the better you are doing. However, attraction is not service and numbers do not dictate quality. McDonald's and Coca-Cola are in more places than any world religion has even dared to dream.

Now, this is not about mega churches being bad, or small Bible Study being good. This is about taking a moment to notice the little things.

I believe the little things count. I believe the little things add up. I believe sometimes the little things are really the big things.

Over the last year, I have been compiling a list of the moments in my ministry here at First that may appear to be the little things, but are the seeds that grow, the buds that blossom. They are the bedrock that demonstrate to me that my God is at work here in Gainesville.

Below I have shared some of those with you:

2018 
7/23 I walk into my office to find a bouquet of balloons. One of them reads "Welcome Home"

9/19 Before Chapel, the Pre-School children sing "Happy Birthday" to me

9/24 During Communion, myself and the pastor receive the compliment, "You spittin"

10/7 A visitor who had come with one of our youth families and I had a conversation after church about who we were as a congregation. One of those "Oh, I didn't know Christians believed that" kind of conversations

10/7 Having the privilege to sit next to one of our youth at a worship service at Gator Wesley's (campus ministry) service

10/22 A proud parent sharing opening night video of their actor

11/1 Learning the story of a Saint, whose walk with Jesus was longer than my time here on earth thus far

11/1 Linda looses her head over her boyfriend (Evil Dead Musical)

11/1 Watching one of our youth win the championship game, followed by the end of the year ceremony celebrating both teams

12/10 Discussing the depth of Shalom with a Jewish congregant

12/16 The Sunday where every congregant under the age of eighteen was involved in playing, singing, reading, or acolyting during the service

12/16 Having two youth represented at the District Wide Science Fair Award Ceremony, and them giving each other a high-five as they waited for the other names to be called

2019
1/27 The night where one of the youth, who normally wouldn't give me the time of day, excitedly sharing with me what she knew from the topic we mentioned for next week

2/10 A youth stopping me in the halls to tell me they enjoyed Sunday School

2/27 Being ministered to and encouraged by Scout parents after a particularly rough week (and it was only Wednesday)

3/20 A Scout saying they have something that will make me happy. Followed by the announcement that they had made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to give those experiencing homelessness

4/6 Watching a child's face light up when they hear the inflatable slide at the Art Fair is free to ride

4/7 Watching the youth spend time with each other and work together at the Art Fair

4/10 In the middle of our Chapel unit on the life of Jesus, one of the Pre-School Teachers walked her children into the chapel past the stained glass windows (that we had been using as visual aids) and points out the stories we had done thus far

4/19 A youth flipping through Bible to follow along with the reading at the Good Friday Service

5/4 and 5/5 Watching our church come together to reach out to our community with a crazy Harry Potter themed "Wizard Training" Event 5/5 Watching two youth groups work together to make day two of Harry Potter happen 5/5 Connecting with a (third) youth group at the Harry Potter Event

6/19 When the Director of Music walked into my office and said, "So, I was downloading panels of Spider-Man comics" (y'know for work)

7/10 While teaching the Pre-Schoolers the story of Adam and Eve, and asking "What do you think God did next?" "There is nothing you can do to make God stop loving you" was the reply. (Which is the line we end with every week)

7/13 At the Youth Families Retreat seeing one of the Youth wearing their shirt from the Middle School Mission Trip

7/13 Having a Youth ask me to watch her summer production of Mama Mia

7/14 A parent sending a picture of their first grader reading their new Bible on the way home from service

7/21 A Octogenarian and a three year old playing with an over-sized soccer ball after our Simple Sunday Lunch

7/24 Day 366 of working in the place where all are welcomed (even Harry Potter), and the place that has become HOME

Roots

Journey, Packing, Unpacking, Quests, Beginnings, Endings, even a Thai String Ceremony or two. I have gone through quite a few metaphors to try and describe the journey I have been on the last nine and a half years. At each stop I learned. At each stop I grew. At each stop there was a time to move on. Some I was ready for, while others took me by surprise.

Last time I wrote about being in between. What I have come to realize is that I am also on the verge of. I am on the verge of staying in one place. I am on the verge of putting down roots.

At my interview with First United Methodist, they asked about my resume. They asked why I hadn't stayed in any one place for very long. It is a fair question. Seven Churches in nine and a half years is great experience, but it makes one wonder if that person has plans to stick around. I described the reason that each stop had come to an end. I let them know that I have always planned to stick around. Yet somehow each place simply didn't have a place to stick. Some places, like seminary, were designed to be liminal. Other places simply weren't the place where I was meant to land. And so they asked if I were to be given the job if I would want to stay.

I want to stay. I want to lay down roots.

The Bible says that since we don't control tomorrow, we are not to declare what tomorrow will hold. But, we are allowed to dream. to desire. We are allowed to want to stay in one place. We are allowed to want our roots to run deep.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I love that my roots run wide. I cherish each person, each memory, each lesson. But my dream, my desire is to stay in one place. To grow roots that run deep.

All of this moving means that I don't own any furniture (who wants to move a couch that many times), and that many of the physical items that hold memories for me have been tucked away in boxes, some for years at a time.

One of these items is a simple metal toy car. This car sat on father's desk. I don't know where he got the car or if it had any significance for him. When he died, it was one of the totems that I took for my own. It has lived on shelves and been tucked away in plastic tubs. It has traveled with me not just these last nine and half years, but has journeyed with me the last twenty-eight years.

Tubs and timing have kept it from being on my desk. That is until now.

Today it sits on my desk.

Placing that small car on my desk at First United Methodist is a small gesture. Yet, that small gesture has, for me, great significance. It states that here is where I wish to stay. It is here I wish for my roots to grow deep.

--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau

The little things: Texas style

They say that in Texas everything is bigger.

Driving the highway each morning to work, I can certainly attest that the flags flying outside nearly every business and office building are larger than what I have experienced elsewhere (With the exception of the flag outside Leisure World in Seal Bach). The city is without a doubt more spread out than Chicago, and the sky feels bigger here. (Of course it depends on where the sky starts.) And I haven't tried the local food, but just from reading the labels in the supermarket, I am pretty sure the cuisine runs hotter here

However, I have found that in Texas like elsewhere, it's not the only the monumental events that leave an impact but the mundane ones as well.

The other night I sat on the couch with my brother, sister-in-law, and brand new niece and thought, "I scarce can take it in." Some of you may recognize that phrase from the old Christian hymn "How Great Thou Art". The song speaks of the power and wonder of Creation and the sacrifice of Christ. In response to these things the author wrote that line.

Yet my response wasn't to some large wonderful earth shattering, mind blowing event. It was to the simple fact that I sat indoors, with a full belly, next my family.

While I am grateful for the space that my brother and his family have provided, it is not the space but the presence of family that I find rest in.

While I am grateful for the meals my sister-in-law makes, it is not the nourishment but the gathering together to enjoy each other that reminds me of my worth.

While I enjoy the movies we watch each evening (some more than others), it is not the flickering images upon the television screen that bring peace, but the simple reminder that yet another day has past with shelter, food, and acceptance as a part of it.

--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
 --Jesse Letourneau