FEB 10 AGAIN

I haven't been feeling well lately. There are some immediate reasons for that. But those wounds are beginning to heal.

But there are also some historical reasons. Or at least reasons from my personal history.

Here is a little context

The Song Goes On

Same Song Next Verse

Feb 10

Feb 10 Showed up on my Facebook Feed again, and I realized why I had not been feeling well. Even though I wasn't aware of the date, my body was remembering the loss and pushing me to grieve.

Last time I wrote about Feb 10, I wrote that I had found "Home".

It was a year later that I found out I would be leaving that place.

That news came after a weekend full of ministry that spoke to my soul in ways that ministry rarely does, and in ways that only ministry can.

One of my best memories of Florida, followed by one of my least favorite memories of my ministry from Florida.

The simple story would be to say that I was meant to be here all along. But that simply isn't true. I wouldn't be able to do the work I am doing now if not for my time in Florida. For that matter, I wouldn't be able to do it as well as I am without the phone calls with JD Rose while at the church in Southern California. Or without the lessons learned in the place before that. And really when you think about it, my time in seminary prepared me....

My story is not a straight path. It never has been. 

While this week holds the memories of finding two things that I was so certain of not being what I thought they would be. It also holds plenty of joy. Some of them are mentioned in the blogs above. Some have happened in the three years since I wrote that blog.

This is my fourth church since the "first" Feb 10, and my fifth home.

Each place feels like I was there for a life time. Some were comfortable, some were much less so. Some I am proud at what I accomplished. Some I have taken lessons from those places and worked to become a better person and a better minister. Some held a little of column A and a little of column B.

The start of February has held for me

Starting a job search

Receiving a Scout Patch for a Pinewood Derby (all I did was unlock the doors)

A winter retreat with some of the best youth around

A trip to Universal with more of the same

Delivering meds to a snow bound friend

Taking 5th and 6th graders on a hike at night in the rain (way more fun than it seems)

One of my favorite nights serving at Trinity UMC

Meeting Popeye

and continuing my song. 

--Serving God alongside all of you, just from further away

--Jesse Letourneau

A little bit of Gonzo in the new office just for good measure

The Desk Chronicles: Part Three: Beginning Again

In September of 2018, I wrote about placing a toy car on my desk in Florida. The link below will take you to that story.

The Desk Chronicles: Part One: Roots

This week I added a paper weight to my new desk, where I now serve as the pastor of Salem UCC, Westphalia, Indiana. The paper weight was a gift from a congregant who attended Salem in years past. It marks the 125th anniversary of this congregation.  Our 175th is right around the corner. 

I have only been here seven weeks, and yet it feels like home. It is smaller and quieter than any place I have ever been.  Yet it feels like home. Before I arrived here, I only encountered lightning bugs like twice in my lifetime. Now they are out my back porch most every night. The rain comes differently here too. Some times suddenly, some times you can see the storm roll on. Sometimes it passes by all together. And that smell after the rain? It is unique in each place I have lived.  And now, only a month and a half later, the air after a rain is the scent of home. 

Though if I am honest, the smell of pine trees will always be home. But I was near pines for the first quarter century of my life. I still miss pine trees. I still miss mountains. But now, oak trees and corn fields are home. I still miss Target and Trader Joe's, and the burger place that was a short walk from work. But Westphalia is home. And not just because my stuff is here. (Though that was a whole other ordeal.)

I am home because I am here. I have found the way to be comfortable and at ease with myself no matter where I am. Some say Home is where the Heart is. Some say Home is where you Hang your Hat. I think home is where you find peace. And I have found peace in myself. But I did not do that alone.

I found peace in the friends in college who drove to Vegas for no good reason (and without enough seat belts). I found peace in the friends who made sure I got to private movie screenings. I found peace in the Bible study where we learned that God isn't shocked by your sin. I found peace in learning that being an Eagles fan, even if only for the cheesestakes is an emotional roller coaster. I found peace on zip line platforms, caves, and ski mountains with amazing people who saw in me, what I couldn't yet see. I found peace talking to Sven and Ollie. I found peace in Baby Shark (before it was a lifestyle brand). I found peace folding way too many origami flowers for an Easter service. I found peace in ordering the Fish Sandwich every Thursday for a semester. I found peace in soda, "make it fancy", and home made cookies. I found peace in gathering at the table for board games and Seders, but truly in the people gathered around said table. I found peace in the Purple Room struggling to cobble together translations from the Greek or watching The Guardians of the Galaxy bring peace through friendship. I found peace being chased by zombies on our way to ride the Viper. I found peace in being let into the lives of some truly remarkable people. I found peace meeting the real Santa Claus (he lives in Gainesville). I found peace on the steps of the chancel with a lion puppet on my hand and their eyes glued to said puppet. I found peace on the Ichetucknee River. I found peace in the insanity that was Wizarding School. I even found peace reading books online and having amazing food brought to my door.

I found peace in the eyes, in the smiles, the words, and the souls of too many to list here. Though if you are reading this, there is a very good chance you are one of them.


--Serving God alongside all of you, just from further away

--Jesse Letourneau

The Desk Chronicles: Part Two: Leaving Well