I have so much more to say about CSA, but I also have so much to say about these first two months back at ARCG. My brain dictates that I finish up Africa before moving to the present. But there simply isn't the time. Instead you are getting the cliff notes version of CSA. Followed by some thoughts from this year. I have written about how I went to CSA thinking I was going to be the leader, the one who knew everything. How it felt like I fell down a rabbit hole and didn't know my left from my right, or my up from my down. I wrote about a couple of the characters I met there. I even added some foreshadowing about coming alongside the amazing people already working in South Africa. It is this chunk of the story that we will have to skip (or maybe save for another day).I will say that we met pastors and teachers, as well as the South Africans of the team who are living a life of sacrifice, a life of service, who are the ones striving for change, shining the brightest of lights in one of the world's darkest places. We spent 28 days in country. I could write 28 pages (and probably more) dealing with the beacons of hope that I was privileged to come along side while I was there. I want to tell two stories of God's power through me while in SA. The first is about a girl we will call Mikalleya and a little boy "named" Sabanyo.
We were doing a day rally at one of the many schools we worked with over the month. It was early in the trip and somehow I got put in charge of the younger set without an interpreter. It didn't matter what game I played or what tactic I took, everything ended up in a game of "hit your neighbor as many times as you can." I had to go and grab Caleb and ask him to talk the boys about respecting one another. As Caleb did this, a girl maybe 10 or 11 came up to me and wanted to talk. We spoke of God, His Son, the cross, the empty tomb, and grace. Mikalleya said she had heard these things before. I asked her if she believed them. She said that she did. I prayed with her. I told her that I would continue to pray for her, and that anytime she needed help, God would be there for here. It sounds simple, but it was for me an evidence of God having such a better plan than the one we had. I shouldn't have "needed" help. Caleb was "suppose" to be playing soccer with the older kids. But God had an appointment for me and Mikalleya that He needed to orchestrate.
The second story takes place towards the end of my time in SA. It was the second to last day of service. We were in a tiny village made up of tin shacks and half naked toddlers. After some songs and games, the team passed out clothes and other supplies. It didn't take the full team to facilitate this so I sat down in the single shady area created by our van. Sabanyo sat next to me and took my hand. I did grab Sabanyo's hand to form a circle for our song and game time, however I had done nothing else to make any connection with him. We simply sat hand in hand.
I was tired. The heat, the dust, the poverty, my selfishness, the trip and its toll on my heart, soul, and mind, they all conspired to make me content to simply sit and not engage Sabanyo in anyway. He was younger, probably didn't speak enough English to really converse anyway. Plus he seemed content to sit and let me hold his hand.
I did pray. I did ask God that this little boy would know the love the Heavenly Father. But I said nothing aloud. I then stepped outside of my strengths, and asked him his name. We began to talk of God and His love. I saw in this little child's eyes an understanding not that I had accepted him, but that God had accepted Him, and had chosen me to be the hand of God that Sabanyo could physically hold.
Now I mentioned the heat and the dust, the exhaustion and the toll, and at times I am tempted to believe I projected everything I saw and heard onto this little one. But I know my God, I know how big He is, and I know how He works.
Sabnyo and I prayed together. He had not yet heard the wonderful story of God and His love. We prayed together and the angels rejoiced that day at another son of God returned home. I told Sabnyo that would praying for him and wanted to hear good things about him in the future. It is this one little boy that tugs at my heart. The one reason that I regret not being able to return to SA as a part of CSA in 2011.More on the awesomness God has brought to me in the last two months next time (and why I will be busy in Nov/Dec of next year).
I do want to close with a statement that has rattled around in my head since that day with Sabanyo. A truth I don't fully understand, that I won't ever fully understand, a reality that I want to live my life by. My God is so big, that he used sitting in dust next to a impoveresd South African child to remind me that He doesn't need my talents, all he needs is my availability. He used that same moment to assure me that He has a place and a role for me in the American Church.
--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse "Gonzo" Letourneau
PS Needless to add, I found my muchness (where it had been all along-inside the love of God.)
