Day 366

In ministry value and worth are often considered in relationship to the size and number of buildings, money, and people involved. That is to say a successful ministry is measured in bucks, butts, and buildings.

The more you have the better you are doing. However, attraction is not service and numbers do not dictate quality. McDonald's and Coca-Cola are in more places than any world religion has even dared to dream.

Now, this is not about mega churches being bad, or small Bible Study being good. This is about taking a moment to notice the little things.

I believe the little things count. I believe the little things add up. I believe sometimes the little things are really the big things.

Over the last year, I have been compiling a list of the moments in my ministry here at First that may appear to be the little things, but are the seeds that grow, the buds that blossom. They are the bedrock that demonstrate to me that my God is at work here in Gainesville.

Below I have shared some of those with you:

2018 
7/23 I walk into my office to find a bouquet of balloons. One of them reads "Welcome Home"

9/19 Before Chapel, the Pre-School children sing "Happy Birthday" to me

9/24 During Communion, myself and the pastor receive the compliment, "You spittin"

10/7 A visitor who had come with one of our youth families and I had a conversation after church about who we were as a congregation. One of those "Oh, I didn't know Christians believed that" kind of conversations

10/7 Having the privilege to sit next to one of our youth at a worship service at Gator Wesley's (campus ministry) service

10/22 A proud parent sharing opening night video of their actor

11/1 Learning the story of a Saint, whose walk with Jesus was longer than my time here on earth thus far

11/1 Linda looses her head over her boyfriend (Evil Dead Musical)

11/1 Watching one of our youth win the championship game, followed by the end of the year ceremony celebrating both teams

12/10 Discussing the depth of Shalom with a Jewish congregant

12/16 The Sunday where every congregant under the age of eighteen was involved in playing, singing, reading, or acolyting during the service

12/16 Having two youth represented at the District Wide Science Fair Award Ceremony, and them giving each other a high-five as they waited for the other names to be called

2019
1/27 The night where one of the youth, who normally wouldn't give me the time of day, excitedly sharing with me what she knew from the topic we mentioned for next week

2/10 A youth stopping me in the halls to tell me they enjoyed Sunday School

2/27 Being ministered to and encouraged by Scout parents after a particularly rough week (and it was only Wednesday)

3/20 A Scout saying they have something that will make me happy. Followed by the announcement that they had made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to give those experiencing homelessness

4/6 Watching a child's face light up when they hear the inflatable slide at the Art Fair is free to ride

4/7 Watching the youth spend time with each other and work together at the Art Fair

4/10 In the middle of our Chapel unit on the life of Jesus, one of the Pre-School Teachers walked her children into the chapel past the stained glass windows (that we had been using as visual aids) and points out the stories we had done thus far

4/19 A youth flipping through Bible to follow along with the reading at the Good Friday Service

5/4 and 5/5 Watching our church come together to reach out to our community with a crazy Harry Potter themed "Wizard Training" Event 5/5 Watching two youth groups work together to make day two of Harry Potter happen 5/5 Connecting with a (third) youth group at the Harry Potter Event

6/19 When the Director of Music walked into my office and said, "So, I was downloading panels of Spider-Man comics" (y'know for work)

7/10 While teaching the Pre-Schoolers the story of Adam and Eve, and asking "What do you think God did next?" "There is nothing you can do to make God stop loving you" was the reply. (Which is the line we end with every week)

7/13 At the Youth Families Retreat seeing one of the Youth wearing their shirt from the Middle School Mission Trip

7/13 Having a Youth ask me to watch her summer production of Mama Mia

7/14 A parent sending a picture of their first grader reading their new Bible on the way home from service

7/21 A Octogenarian and a three year old playing with an over-sized soccer ball after our Simple Sunday Lunch

7/24 Day 366 of working in the place where all are welcomed (even Harry Potter), and the place that has become HOME

The Friends You Take with You

I moved a lot.
Like three jobs in the last three years a lot.
Like living in four states in the last five years a lot.
Like I have down sized more times than Marie Kondo a lot.
Like even then, I haven't completely unpacked in over a decade a lot.

There are places and people that I love dearly spread across this country. Some of those people are still in the cities where we met, others have gone off on their own adventures having moved since our paths first crossed.

And the reality is, no matter how deep the connection or how many suitcases you own, not everything, not everyone can come with you when you move.

So, instead things come to be reminders of the places you once lived. Physical items become totems of the people who were once near.

Chicago 2011
Bob, Mooby, and Cookie get displayed even before I have any furniture

Over the years, I have accrued a handful of these totems. And they all fit into a single box. A single box that is always made accessible whether the rest of my things are in storage or not. A single box that is always unpacked and its items displayed regardless of where I am.

While it may appear that this box is nothing more than a box of toys, each item carries significance for me.

In the photo on the right, the anthropomorphic tomato, Bob (far left), is progenitor of this tradition of hanging onto items that take on a greater meaning. Bob and I first met in college. Bob survived a mission trip in 1998 to Australia. He beyond being rescued from the more curious among our team, carries with him not just the memories of that trip, but the memories of my four years of college. He holds not only the memories of dorm rooms, study sessions, bad cafeteria food, finals weeks and missions trips, but the memory of everyone I met, everyone who broke my heart, and everyone who loved me in spite of my flaws for those four years in Redding, CA.

Copperopolis 2017
More shelves lead to more of the box unpacked

After college, I spent nine years living in Southern California. It was then I met Mooby. Mooby is the cow (really a golden calf) on Bob's left in the pic above, and on Bob's right in the pic below. Mooby represents a unique group of friends unlike any I have had before. It was becoming a part of this group that allowed me to attend private screenings of small documentaries, wide release studio films, and private indy films that never sought distribution. It is the reason I have the autograph of Johnny Depp's daughter and once had to help a Hollywood director shoo a group of drunk fans out of his bedroom. But it isn't these memories that ensure Mooby a place on the shelf. Rather, it is the friends who saw past my own doubts and insecurities and made me feel welcomed and accepted without having to change anything about myself.

Gainesville 2019
Albert joins Bob, Larry, and Mooby
(apologies to Pastor Beth)

Each of these plush toys and souvenirs that have accumulated over the years represent not only the people and places where they come from, they have come to represent parts of myself. My past and my present. My joys and failures, my pain and my victories. Little slices of my story that add up to where I am today. Parts of my identity reflected in the people and places that shaped them.

Most all of them were gifts, and most came about toward the end or ever after the experiences whose memories they hold. Today, I added a new "friend" to the shelf.

This new friend, Albert (the green one wearing the tee) is different. Albert is on the shelf not just as a totem for what has been, but as a totem for what can be. He represents not only this last year in Gainesville, but my future here. Albert represents the piece of myself that has found a home here in Gainesville.

Albert holds the hope and the faith this place will have many more memories to come.





--Serving God alongside all of you, just from further away
 --Jesse Letourneau

Feb 10th

February 10th has been a date of significance for me the last few years.

In 2016, my world was shaken. In 2018, a muppet hued sunset gave me assurance.

I have already written about the journey I have traveled the last decade, and how my hope is that FUMC is my last stop.

The last two years, February 10th has been a date where I take a moment to stop and take stock of where I am. This year, I didn't even realize it was the 10th until I logged into Facebook and checked my Memories for that day.

I am beginning to focus not what could have been, rather, I am looking at what is. Instead of obsessing about what I have learned and how to use it, I am simply using those lessons in this new setting, and in this new calling.

This year the significance is that the date held no significance. No major revelations. No major moments of clarity.

And maybe that is a good thing.

--Serving God alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau

The Curated Life

It is often noted that what we see on social media isn’t reality: that each of us is putting on a brave face and presenting a false narrative of positivity.

It is true that social media is full of filters (and not simply the ones we use for our photos).  We filter our thoughts and our emotions on social media.

Social Media is a public place. I do my very best to treat it as such. What you see on my Facebook page is (or at least should be) what I would be comfortable shouting from a street corner. The local passerby may not care I am excited about the latest sci-fi offering on Amazon or that I got to hang out with preschoolers and talk about Jesus with a lion puppet (by the way, I am pretty sure they know the script/routine better than I do now), but I wouldn't be embarrassed for the hypothetical passer-by to know that.

But those filters are not there so that you all will think I am a good person or that I have it all together. I do that for myself. I do my very best to create a place where I can look back and see the good things that I do have. I can look and see the opportunities that I have been given.

It is easy for me to feel lonely. To feel forgotten. To feel useless and unable. I think it easy for all of us to feel that way. Facebook is one of the places I can look to remind myself that none of those things are true.

Back in my day we had physical photo albums and those were full of pictures of birthdays, vacations, and candid holiday snaps. Seldom if ever, did my mom whip out a camera to take pics to show off our bumps and bruises, our tantrums, or when the house looked like a family of four lived there.

Back in my day Facebook was called photo albums.

Photo albums are curated. They are carefully chosen to present a particular story.

The most intentional way I curate my online presence is through my (not so perfect) daily picture photo albums.  Just under five years ago, I began a project to catalogue one thing from my day. One part of my routine, one place I went, one thing I saw, one thing that marked the day.  One thing to remind me that when I feel isolated or limited or even just stuck that the total picture of my day, week, month, year is larger than what I can see in those moments. These albums balance somewhere between a journal, spiritual exercise, art project, and time capsule.

Those that follow this blog will know that there have been some rough times, and more transitions than I really care to count in the last few years.  However, just because something ends, doesn’t mean the good times of the past didn’t happen. Certainly our present colors our past, but it shouldn’t completely rewrite it.

My pictures don’t always reflect the fondest of memories. Amidst the board games in Chicago, the Middle School Concerts in Florida, and the blue purple-ish sunsets in California are photos marking auto collisions, hospital visits (unrelated), and braces for busted elbows.

As noted above, these photo albums are put together for me to look back upon. However, I am grateful for all of you have come along with me on this journey. 

Nine years ago, I started this blog when I moved away from my home and my friends in Southern California. It was a simple way to keep those who I served with, those I loved, and those who loved me included in what I was doing.

Today, this blog serves to help keep in touch with those I have served and loved, and those who have loved me along my travels.

From Long Beach to Occidental, to Chicago, to Houston, to Copperopolis, back to Long Beach, and now out in Gainseville. I am privileged to be able to continue to curate memories and then be able to share them all with you.

 --Serving God alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau