WAVES

In what seems like a life time ago, I worked at Alliance Redwoods Conference Grounds as an Outdoor Educator for 5th and 6th grade science. One of the highlights of that job was taking students to the beach. Some had never been to ocean despite living mere hours away.

The majesty of the ocean is such that countless wordsmiths and song writers have attempted to encapsulate it within the confines of language. I don't fancy myself either of those things, yet I will note that the rhythm of the ocean is the thing that draws me to it.

The waves come in. The waves go out. The tide comes in. The tide goes out. Over and over. Consistent, steady, solid, reliable. While I have only been to the ocean a handful of times, regardless of what piece of shoreline I stand upon the same sound, the same rhythm greets me each time I visit. 

As far back as I can conceive the waves come in; the waves go out. As far forward as I can imagine, the waves come in; the waves go out.

When you look out on the ocean, you can see each distinct wave as it builds, crests, and falls. And then suddenly that distinct wave is once more simply a part of the vast expanse of blue. Behind it builds another wave, distinct for a moment then melded into the whole.

As I look back on my life, I can see distinct moments: high school, college, camp. As I reflect I can see individual lessons: learning of grace, risk, and calling. And yet as I try and figure out where one begins and the other ends, rather than distinct moments I simply see a melded whole that I call life.

Goat Rock Beach, Sonoma Coast State Beach, CA

However, this simple rhythm of waves is not guaranteed. 

When we took the students to the ocean, Safety was priority number one. Amidst the "respect the ocean" and "no you can't take your shoes off and run out into the surf" was a lecture on sleeper waves. The shore where we took the students was notorious for such waves. Huge signs warning of their danger were prominently features along the stairs leading form parking lot to shore. Sleeper waves, simply put, are waves that come out of rhythm. These are waves that come as a surprise and can ruin your day pretty quickly.

This last year my life seems more like the rocky cliffs of Sonoma (above) than the smooth surf of Seal Beach.

The year started out just fine.  

Working at Trader Joe's. 

The waves come in.

The waves go out. 

Learning again what it means to live with family.

The waves come in.

The waves go out. 

Begin to find deeper community at church.

The waves come in.

The waves go out. 

Returning to Chicago for a working vacation.

The waves come in. 

Board Games with friends.

The waves go out.

Finding a place to stay at the convention in town.

The waves come in.

Hours long interview, conversation, and spiritual direction.

The waves go out.

Sharing with friends the joy and relief I felt at finding this position at this church.

The waves come in.

Returning home and packing my car with all of my earthly possessions for the second time in four months.

The waves come in. 

Waiting for the official vote.

The waves go out. 

Being told I wasn't given the job.

SLEEPER WAVE 

Though this wave was more than crashing surf that dowsed my shoes and splashed the legs of my pants. This wave took me under. 

When my head returned to the surface, I was short of breath and had been carried down the shore. I wasn't sure where I started. I wasn't sure which direction was forward.

Slowly life returned to normal.

Rhythm was restored. 

Then in May, while out in the front driveway I tripped over a pile of branches my brother and I were bundling for pick up. Falling face first I placed my hands in front of me to catch myself. There was immediate pain my left bicep. I assumed it was a simple muscle spasm or maybe a tear. The pain did not subside.

My left palm hit the ground with enough force that the radial bone (wrist to elbow on the "outside" of the arm) was driven forward. The head of the bone shattered.

SLEEPER WAVE.

X-Rays. CT Scans. Surgery. Recovery. Rehab.

I reached out to those I love. Those who were able gave. Those who were willing prayed. All reminded me that I am loved in return.

A new reality became my rhythm.

I rested my arm so that it could heal correctly.

I rested my mind to better understand how to raise the financial support needed.

I rested my soul in the God who had brought me this far.

and

I rested knowing that I am loved and supported by all of you.

The arm is now healed.

And now I sit on the shore.  

Waiting. 

Listening. 

Wondering what may be next.

--Serving Him alongside you, just from farther away

--Jesse Letourneau

9-11 Fifteen Years On: Wisdom from above

James 3
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
  
The letter of James presents sets of two. Rich and poor. Faith and deeds. Words of blessings and words of cursing. Wisdom from below and wisdom from above. Each pair relates to its partner in some way. We are called to see the rich and the poor as equal. It is deeds that prove our faith. Words of blessing are greater than words of cursing. The wisdom from above and the wisdom from below are not equal.  They originate from separate sources. The wisdom from below is the wisdom of humanity. The wisdom from above is the wisdom of God.

How do we receive this wisdom from above? How can the wisdom of God be a part of our narrative? James 1:5 says this, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” So we receive the wisdom of God from God.  Wisdom is given to us if we ask. God gives generously when we ask. God gives without finding fault. 

The goal of human wisdom is self-gain. The goal of the wisdom of God is peace. The peace of God comes through Jesus Christ. In his letter to the church at Corinth Paul wrote this about the wisdom that comes from above:

1 Corinthians 1

25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

This November, everyone reading this will make a choice. Either you will choose to vote or you will make the choice to not vote. This November there will be individuals and ideas that are put in power, and there will be individuals and ideas that are removed from power. To borrow JD’s phrase, “it matters who you line up behind.” It matters who you choose to speak for you. This decisions you make should absolutely be grounded on how you understand the Scriptures. Your choices should be founded upon your understanding of the wisdom of God.

However we must also remember that in November there will still only be ONE church. ONE body, ONE Spirit, and ONE Lord of all. To those who follow Jesus we are called to reject favoritism, to show our faith through our deeds, to speak words of blessing, and to seek the wisdom of God.

We come to Jesus for this wisdom. We come to Jesus for redemption. We come to Jesus so that we may be peacemakers who sow in peace and reap in righteousness.

--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
 --Jesse Letourneau

All Scriptures NIV taken from blueletterbible.org

9-11 Fifteeen Years On

Some brief reflections on today. More to come.

Fifteen years ago today, I was awakened by mom saying, you need to watch this.  In the living room the television was tuned to NBC’s the Today show, and a smoking image of the Twin Towers was being broadcast live from the New York skyline to my home in Long Beach, California. It took me a moment to take it all in. The news reporters were unsure what had happened. Confusion and Panic were in their voices as bits of information mixed with pure guess work passed for news that day. I sat not yet fully awake trying to make sense of the images and sounds that I was witnessing.  I watched the endless loop.  The Today Show replayed footage of the second plane hitting the South Tower over and over. No one seemed to really know what was happening. I was watching live when the second Tower came down. Ash and Fire filled the sky and our country was forever changed. Beyond the planes that were hijacked and flown into the Twin Towers, two more planes were hijacked that day. One crashed into the Pentagon. The other in a field in Pennsylvania, believed to be targeted on the White House.

In the days and weeks that followed two narratives emerged. The first narrative highlighted the very worse that America has to offer. Mosques were sieged and taken over by angry citizens. People whose only crime was looking like what other people imagined the attackers to be were threatened, beaten, and even killed.  In a time where all were unsure of what was next; a time when all grieved; in a time were unity was the best answer anyone could muster in the face of such violence and confusion,  American citizens sought out their neighbor and reacted with prejudice, hatred, and violence.

Why would someone react this way? Why in a time where the American flags hung on nearly every door and post, a time where people came together to raise money and support for the victims and their families, why would others go out and cause harm to their own country? Their own countrymen and women?

Fear, Anger, Uncertainty, Helplessness. These are the emotions that cause people to react. These are the emotions that were felt in America on that day and the days that followed. I know at least they are the emotions that welled up in me.

But these feelings are not unique to me. To see a building collapse, to know that someone from outside your home. Outside your place of safety could attack the Pentagon, try and attack the White House, kill thousands of civilians who were only harmed because they had arrived on time for their flight or showed up for work that day. It will cause fear and anger. And it should. Their aim of the terrorist is to cause fear in the hearts and minds of people. The terrorists accomplished their aim on that day.

However, that narrative of fear and reaction is not the only narrative from that day. There is a second narrative. The one of those whose actions showed their faith by their deeds. Those whose words and actions were kind and compassionate. Self-less and for some even Self-giving. Of course this is the narrative of the firefighters, police, and EMTs that ran toward the smoke. Toward the towers. Toward the danger. They may have felt fear and uncertainty but their actions showed that the others come first.

There is a word we use to classify these kinds of professions. They are known as first responder. They do not react. They respond. When the planes hit the building the fire departments of New York and its neighbors did not rush to find a place to express their anger and fear with more violence. Neither did they rush toward the towers without any tools or equipment. They responded. They put on the proper gear and they brought the proper equipment allowing them to help those buried beneath the buildings. Their actions spoke louder than their words. Their actions of self-sacrifice spoke louder than the violence with which the day had begun.

In the last fifteen years the rubble of the collapsed World Trade Center has been cleared, memorials built and a new structures now fill the New York City skyline. And yet we still live in a culture filled with competing narratives. Every day there are police who put their lives on the line to maintain order. Every day there are law enforcement officers who abuse power and bring violence and even death upon the citizens they swore to serve and protect. The Scriptures command that the orphan, widow, and immigrant be cared for. The Church (as a whole) is still discussing and debating who is worthy of our aid and comfort. The 24 hour news cycle cares more about the moral character of a football player than the moral character of the candidates asking to lead our country.

But there is hope. Part Two tomorrow.

--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau

--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau

Short and not too sweet

So has some of you know I went to Washington  (state) three weeks ago to candidate at a church there. I was confident that I would return home with a job offer. Two weeks ago I found out that I did not receive the position.

I was so confident that the position was mine I quit my job at Trader Joe's and they have decided to not rehire me.

Thus three months after  leaving Chicago, I find myself in the exact same place I was when I arrived.

Sadness, confusion, hope, anger, worthlessness, worth fullness, anger; sadness, ...these are the emotions that have been prominent in the last two weeks.

And that's where we stand now.

--Serving Him alongside you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau

2016 odds and ends

So a little housekeeping first.

When I started this blog back up I was hoping to bring you weekly updates on Tuesdays.
As you can tell that has petered out a bit. The main reason is that I now work 40 hours a week and have no internet access (save at the library).

As I learn a new rhythm to life, I will find a consistent time to get these updates up for all (two) of you who wish to keep reading them. Until then we will just have to go with "whenever I can find time, and hopefully once a week at that"

Not only am I bailing on my schedule; this week's update is a series of thoughts, some connected, many not.

In Merry Christmas Charlie Brown, Linus drops his blanket (for the first and only time) when he quotes the words "Fear Not" spoken by the angles in Luke 2. Whether this is intentional or not it is still a pretty cool thing.

Trader Joe's has become a real job, but a good one. I don't always want to go into work in the morning, but I always enjoy myself when I do.

Abraham was a liar. 
His son Issac played favorites with his children.
Issac's son Jacob was a schemer, liar, and played favorites among his sons.
However, Issac's son Joseph shows forgiveness to his brothers (who were liars and schemers).

He breaks the pattern of selfishness found in this family. His actions keep his family safe and preserve the line of Abraham-the one to whom God had promised would become a great nation.


So where did Joseph learn forgiveness?

In Genesis 33 Jacob and his brother Esau (who had been harmed by the lies and schemes of Jacob) reconcile. Present at this event is Jacob's son Joseph.
The first moment in this family's history where peace and forgiveness are extended is one where Joseph is present for. This event will echo out in the actions of Joseph later in time.

My niece is pretty cool. She smiles and makes non-crying noises now. On Christmas Eve she was quiet and awake as I read How the Grinch Stole Christmas to her. She doesn't know this yet, but that is now our annual tradition.

The family enjoyed the gifts that I got them (Smash-Up) and it has been used several times since.

I got to see Star Wars VII on New Year's Day with my brother's mother-in-law (still not sure what that makes us, other than family)





--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau