Pixar is Following Me

While watching Inside Out last night, I was reminded that

Pixar is following me.

Get out of my head!

In 2009, I moved to the Bay Area of California and learned about risk.

I learned that playing it safe wasn’t always the best option, and that adventure wasn’t to be feared.  I began to learn that life often doesn’t happen as we had planned, but there is still much pleasure in this world if we simply open our eyes to what is in front of us.

In 2009, Pixar released UP, whose tagline is "Adventure is Out There”, and whose themes include unexpected change in life plans and finding joy in what is still around us.

In 2010, I was preparing for my transition from my life in California to my soon to be new life in Illinois. It was time to prepare for the unknown by putting away the old things and embracing new opportunities.

In 2010, Pixar released Toy Story 3, about a boy going off to college and the journey that he (and his sentient toys) take as they prepare to face the unknown by putting away the things of the past.

In 2015, I served as a chaplain at a retirement home. I was faced with the reality of loss and of death on a nearly daily basis. Through this experience I was forced to explore the emotions I had yet to encounter surrounding the death of my father, when I was twelve. The short version is that I learned that all emotions have value and none should be suppressed or avoided.

In 2015, Pixar released Inside Out, a brightly colored children’s film that argues for the value and inclusion of all emotions in a balanced and heathy person.

What is truly bizarre is that in 2012, I took a trip to Scotland with my mother and she turned into a bear for three days.

 --Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau

Identity

This is my last semester of seminary. During my second semester I posted the following blog: click here This May I graduate with an MDiv. As a part of my requirements for graduation I have been doing an internship at a retirement home for the past seven months. That is all in the way of background and context.

This morning I sat with one of the residents. This woman, whom we will call Olive, is so very frail. She is always bundled in blankets and never without her beanie pulled nearly all the way down over eyes. She is half deaf and three quarters blind. She struggles with memory. What she doesn't struggle with his her faith. She asked me what I did. I told her I was in school to be a pastor.

"Catholic?" Olive asks filled with anticipation.
"No, Protestant," I reply.
"You study the Catholic faith. You will find it is the best." Olive's whole face, her whole body breaks out in a smile.

Olive sits in her wheelchair, I sit on a bench facing her. She takes my hand and pulls me in closer. "For every question you have, the Catholic faith has an answer. And if they don't, you don't need one." Olive is completely present in this moment.

She may not remember my name or what she can see of my face. She may not remember that in the short time we have spent together she has asked about lunch every ten minutes. She may not remember these things, but she knows her God.

I am pulled into a place of wonder. I wonder how a faith becomes so strong. I wonder if mine will ever be this strong. I wonder how I am considered worthy to be called into this sacred space.

Olive reaches down as she holds my hand. She feels the group of strings tied around my wrist. Unable to clearly see what they are, she asks, “Identity?”

Olive is referencing the ID bracelets that each resident wears. In reality they are part of a Thai ceremony. (Same teacher, different class.) Olive is more right than she knows. I simply answer, “Yes.”

Our conversation moves to the difficulties of age and problems with young people today. Then it is time to go in for lunch.

I am left with what it means that these strings are symbols of my identity.

I still struggle with my worth. I know that I am a beloved child of God, but I don’t always remember that.

Like Olive, I also have moments where the only thing on my mind is the question of when lunch is. Like Olive, I have moments of clarity. Moments where I know fully who I am and whose I am.
 
--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau

Previously on...

So its been a while since I have blogged.  There are many stories as to why, but for now they will have to wait.  I learned long ago (in a math class) that trying to play catch up only you leaves you constantly behind and with a C in the class.  Hopefully, we will find time to fill in the gaps as we go along.

Last time I posted I mentioned that I was looking at doing CPE this summer (basically an internship as a hospital chaplain).  That didn't happen.  The short version is that I turned my application in too late to be placed this year.  The long version is one of those stories we need to skip for now.

Not doing CPE this summer means that two other things happened instead.  The first is that I was able to finish out my internship at CCP.  The second is that I was able to take a six week intensive course in Biblical Hebrew.  I am taking Hebrew as I pursue a Masters of Divinity.

Those of you close to the world of seminary, may be asking, "What happened to Children's Ministry?'  While the rest of you are asking, "What is a Masters of  Divinity?"

A Master of Divinity (MDiv) is the four degree (at least that is how long it will take me) that is the most common degree in seminary.  Statistically that may no longer be true, but the perception of most churches is  that an MDiv is the "real" degree, while the others are specializations for "lesser positions."  I know that I am over simplifying the reality, but not by much.

I am pursuing an MDiv degree because it better communicates to churches the roles and responsibilities that I am seeking.  Even when Children's Ministry was my primary focus, I never thought of myself as a Director or Coordinator but as Pastor of Children and/or Families.  My time here at seminary has shown me that the MDiv will afford me further training and experiences that will better equip me to serve in a pastoral role.

I haven't left my passion for Children's Ministry behind.

However, I have found a growing passion for "Christian Formation"  as a whole.  Christian Formation is the encompassing title for the programs and discipleship of all the congregants of a church.  My time in seminary has shown me that good Children's Ministry is closely tied to "what the adults are doing" as well as the fact that "adult" formation can benefit from the attitudes and structures of a good Children's program.  I am now seeking a role as either a Children's Pastor and/or the role of Pastor of Christian Formation.  I have found that I love to teach.  It doesn't matter what subject or what age.  I love making things understandable to others.  More than that I love to see people live out what they are learning.

When you combine this love of teaching with the the joy of watching God change lives (and being called to be a part of that process) you have the calling placed upon my life.  I believe the MDiv is the degree that will best help me live out my calling.  I am excited to see how this becomes reality in the future, as well as how God will use me these next two years in Chicago.

I invite you to share this journey of discovery with me.  Next week I will tell you a story that illustrates one way God has been using me this far.


--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
--Jesse Letourneau

Tune in next week for "Bull Moose-Dead Moose" or "Bullwinkle forgets to eat his supper"