How I learned to stop worrying and love the RPG

There are levels of gaming.

There are party games (e.g. Pictionary, Apples to Apples, Taboo) designed to create interaction more then to have winners and losers (though some get pretty competitive).
There are board games (e.g.Trouble, Clue, Mouse Trap) where you roll the dice, you move your mice and nobody gets hurt. 
There are strategy games (e.g. Settlers of Cataan, Ticket to Ride) where game play depends on variable elements (the board might be set up different each time or what is available to buy or use might change from game to game).


Then there are RPGs.  RPGs-role playing games- are games where the gaming takes place in character.  Think the board game Clue, but everyone is using accents and has information/abilities unique to them.  If you have ever played one of those Murder Mystery game-in-box where you are given a character to play, then you have played an RPG .  (For the camp people: Initiatives are a lot like an RPG only all the characters are all 5th graders who don't listen.)

Actually there are not levels of gaming, merely types of gaming.  However, I like to pretend that there are levels and that they are vastly different from each other.  I do this mostly because it drives JR crazy.

As mentioned before, JR is a gamer.  He plays board games, table tops (RPGs) and LARPs (Live Action Role Play-similar to RPGs but with the absence of a board).  And for as long as I have known him he has tried to get me to come to a LARP.  I stubbornly refused.  Partly, because it drove JR crazy, and partly because I have built my self esteem around the concept of  the following comic I read online once.

While I proudly find myself in the box that reads "Comic book fans who read Superhero comics" which is on par with LARPers.  I wasn't willing to "descend" down another branch of Geekdom and join the world of LARPers.  That is I wasn't ready to do so until my first table top experience on August 2.

The story lines in RPGs and LARPs can either be continuous/indefinite or a one-off.  I played a one-off based on the world of Sky High. Comfortable with the setting (superheroes), I was able to relax into my character, who I definately share some characteristics with  (a competitive ex-jock who thinks because he is a super-hero for a living he is better than everyone he graduated with).

Now the major difference between RPGs and LARPs is that RPGs tend to be about puzzle solving and following the lead of the Story Teller while LARPs while having a plot tend to be more free flowing.  I was playing an RPG with a room full of LARPers.  It took us three hours to find and save the school (the game is designed to run about 1 to 1 1/2 hours).

But I had a blast the entire time. I had the chance to use my imagination while having to listen to the voices and ideas of others.  It isn't the worst way to spend an evening.  But the real reward of the night was the revelation I received.

I learned that I am comfortable with myself.  Acting (at least for me) is about finding pieces of yourself, often the hidden or the less pleasant elements of your personality, and exaggerating those pieces to create a new personality. 

I have been using my excuse of the "Hierarchy of Geekdom" for the last two years, because I was afraid of what others might see in me if I let my personality and my imagination run wild.  I hid behind not wanting to be "that kind of nerd" because I was afraid of what I might find in my personality.  However, over the last two years with all their ups and downs, I have found that I am a good person, a worthy person.  I have found that I like the kind of person I am.  I am not perfect, but here is the secret:

I never will be perfect.  So, I have stopped trying to be.  Instead, I am learning to be me.  A disciplined me, a selfless me, a responsible me, but not a perfect me  

To any and all that were at the game, "Thank you." I was able to relax, to find myself, and accept myself because I wasn't ostracized or criticized for being the new guy.


--Serving Him alongside all of you, just from further away
 --Jesse Letourneau

Next week: a quick look at some deep conversations held on the first day of my third year of seminary
or
"Jesse phones it in with a short blog"


Bonus graphs (click to make em bigger):

 

the true dichotomy

the true hierarchy